![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Exploration
Jan. 15th, 2005 09:03 pmBob S. and I had dinner at a Chinese restaurant near Dupont Circle Thursday night. He's apparently a regular, because the staff recognized him and were pleased to see him back. I laughed when my fortune cookie had no fortune and shared ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
double_ohsteven's "unfortunate" joke.
Afterwards, we swung by Kramer's so he could check on a book, then walked back to his place. Along the way, we ran into Anne C., who is another square dancer. I was surprised to see that Bob knew Anne, but I'm realizing now that the reason they know each other must be because Bob used to square dance with the DC club too. Duh.
Bob recently renovated his apartment, and the result is simply gorgeous. Very Architectural Digest. I don't think I could keep it up. I'd either make a mess of it or go crazy. :-)
We laid on his bed and he showed me pictures of the renovation on his 12" PowerBook. I love those little machines, but I love the screen size of the 15" model even more. Still, I'd love to tuck that little thing under my arm and go to work with it!
He put the computer away and we started playing. He quickly took charge and I surrendered to his ministrations, letting myself react unselfconsciously.
Then he began to get more serious. I'm not even sure where the transition occurred. As I was describing totodc Friday afternoon, I got whupped -- but in a good way. I instinctively concentrated on my breath, submerging myself in the sensations, as if I were detaching myself from my body. Or rather, a part of myself, because I was definitely still there with Bob, but I had the sense of being an observer as well. I'm finding it hard to articulate.
Bob worked me more and more, until I felt nearly invulnerable as he hit me with blows that would normally have hurt a great deal -- things that I would have flinched from, tried to escape -- but I hardly felt them. In fact, the incongruity of my reactions made me laugh uncontrollably, reminding me oflegalmoose's Big Draw back in May.
But I also came close to the state of mind I was in during my Big Draw. There were moments that I was sobbing, but not from pain. Once again, it's very hard to describe. I careened between these states -- vulnerable one moment, invulnerable the next -- and others. At some points I was trembling violently while at others I was at peace, breathing deeply.
He also bound my cock with silky ropes. It probably would have made a good video (some other time), but I spent most of the time with my eyes closed, reveling in the sensations. I opened my eyes only when he instructed me to do so, so I could stare into his eyes for long moments. Even then, I felt like I was fighting to keep my eyes open, my eyelids heavy and drooping.
And still that detached part of me watched, puzzling over his strategy, his technique. He started ramping up the intensity by playing with my feet, drawing great laughs from me. Was that to trigger an initial endorphin rush that he rode to more intense stimuli? I also noted that while I usually try to escape any tickling, I submitted bodily to this almost immediately, retreating into my breath, as if I knew what was required of me -- that I wasn't supposed to be in control. This observer watched my reactions, trying to understand them, and not really succeeding.
This was the first time I had ever experienced anything like this, and Bob seemed impressed with my stamina, if that's the right word. He told me that I was nowhere near my limits, although that's not how it felt at times! He could be right; if I were pressed harder, maybe I'd just go deeper. I don't know.
When he was finished with me, I was completely worn out, trembling with the reaction. He offered me some tea and chocolate and we talked quietly for a while. I'd zone out for long seconds while my analytical mind wrestled with the experience, which actually made me laugh. It was like watching some rodent gnawing at the wires of his cage. Sometime during this talk, we decided that I wouldn't be returning home to Baltimore that evening after all.
Not bad for a first date. :-)
double_ohsteven's "unfortunate" joke.Afterwards, we swung by Kramer's so he could check on a book, then walked back to his place. Along the way, we ran into Anne C., who is another square dancer. I was surprised to see that Bob knew Anne, but I'm realizing now that the reason they know each other must be because Bob used to square dance with the DC club too. Duh.
Bob recently renovated his apartment, and the result is simply gorgeous. Very Architectural Digest. I don't think I could keep it up. I'd either make a mess of it or go crazy. :-)
We laid on his bed and he showed me pictures of the renovation on his 12" PowerBook. I love those little machines, but I love the screen size of the 15" model even more. Still, I'd love to tuck that little thing under my arm and go to work with it!
He put the computer away and we started playing. He quickly took charge and I surrendered to his ministrations, letting myself react unselfconsciously.
Then he began to get more serious. I'm not even sure where the transition occurred. As I was describing to
todc Friday afternoon, I got whupped -- but in a good way. I instinctively concentrated on my breath, submerging myself in the sensations, as if I were detaching myself from my body. Or rather, a part of myself, because I was definitely still there with Bob, but I had the sense of being an observer as well. I'm finding it hard to articulate.Bob worked me more and more, until I felt nearly invulnerable as he hit me with blows that would normally have hurt a great deal -- things that I would have flinched from, tried to escape -- but I hardly felt them. In fact, the incongruity of my reactions made me laugh uncontrollably, reminding me of
legalmoose's Big Draw back in May.But I also came close to the state of mind I was in during my Big Draw. There were moments that I was sobbing, but not from pain. Once again, it's very hard to describe. I careened between these states -- vulnerable one moment, invulnerable the next -- and others. At some points I was trembling violently while at others I was at peace, breathing deeply.
He also bound my cock with silky ropes. It probably would have made a good video (some other time), but I spent most of the time with my eyes closed, reveling in the sensations. I opened my eyes only when he instructed me to do so, so I could stare into his eyes for long moments. Even then, I felt like I was fighting to keep my eyes open, my eyelids heavy and drooping.
And still that detached part of me watched, puzzling over his strategy, his technique. He started ramping up the intensity by playing with my feet, drawing great laughs from me. Was that to trigger an initial endorphin rush that he rode to more intense stimuli? I also noted that while I usually try to escape any tickling, I submitted bodily to this almost immediately, retreating into my breath, as if I knew what was required of me -- that I wasn't supposed to be in control. This observer watched my reactions, trying to understand them, and not really succeeding.
This was the first time I had ever experienced anything like this, and Bob seemed impressed with my stamina, if that's the right word. He told me that I was nowhere near my limits, although that's not how it felt at times! He could be right; if I were pressed harder, maybe I'd just go deeper. I don't know.
When he was finished with me, I was completely worn out, trembling with the reaction. He offered me some tea and chocolate and we talked quietly for a while. I'd zone out for long seconds while my analytical mind wrestled with the experience, which actually made me laugh. It was like watching some rodent gnawing at the wires of his cage. Sometime during this talk, we decided that I wouldn't be returning home to Baltimore that evening after all.
Not bad for a first date. :-)
