discord35: (Default)
discord35 ([personal profile] discord35) wrote2006-04-11 04:09 pm

<3 O

Last night was the monthly heart circle. The talking stick goes around the circle three times.

The first time I held the stick, I spoke about my HIV. I spoke about how I recently changed my medications due to incipient lipodystrophy. I spoke about the follow-up with my doctor a month later and how the lab work confirmed that the new regimen seemed to be effective, keeping the viral load undetectable.

The second time I held the stick, I spoke about Jeffrey. I spoke about how I have never met a man who seems to be on the same wavelength on so many different questions. We both find it remarkable how similar our attitudes and beliefs are, despite our different backgrounds. We both agree that we like each other very much and enjoy our times together a great deal.

He seems as forthright as I try to be; he recently told me that he doesn't care if I continue to date other men. He just enjoys the time we spend together. This is precisely how I approach the other relationships I'm forming these days.

This was the first time I tried to articulate how I feel about Jeffrey and how I feel about our friendship. The next time I see him, I need to share these thoughts with him.

The third time I held the stick, I spoke some thoughts triggered by something another man had said. He mentioned one of his clients undergoing counseling for substance abuse who refused to let any of the staff into his thoughts. It seems to me that it's a great tragedy for someone to be utterly without the support of friends or family and forced to rely upon some outside agency for assistance. Ironically, I feel that it's that lack of support — that lack of connection — that prevents someone from learning how to be self-reliant.

Two new men joined the heart circle: Mickey and Rich. I was immediately intrigued by Mickey, and the feeling seemed to be mutual — when we exchanged hugs after the circle, Mickey and I also exchanged tongues and phone numbers. I'm hoping to see him tonight after work. :-)
legalmoose: (Default)

[personal profile] legalmoose 2006-04-11 02:03 pm (UTC)(link)
If the Mickey you met is the Mickey I know (tall, redhead, massage student?) then he gets the full 100% Moose Seal of Approval. :) I think you'll like him.

[identity profile] spiritquest.livejournal.com 2006-04-12 01:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Ironically, I feel that it's that lack of support — that lack of connection — that prevents someone from learning how to be self-reliant.


Its deductions such as that make your heart circles no laughing matter. As much as I always feel compelled to laugh at such things, you have a much better sense of what's good for you.

So, good for you.