In Transit

I arose at 4:30 p.m. to prepare to head down to the Inner Harbor to view Venus in its transit across the sun. Russell arrived at my apartment about 4:40 and we hiked downtown after I had taken my shower, dressed, packed my pills, etc.

We arrived in front of the Maryland Science Center at about 5:40, and there were several telescopes set up and a small crowd of people, waiting for the sun to rise. The sky overhead was clear, but it was hazy and cloudy near the horizon. As the sun rose, we were indeed able to spot Venus with the naked eye. Later, as the sun cleared the cloud cover and became brighter, we had to rely on the cardboard solar glasses the museum staff were handing out. I'm not sure it was worth the sleep deprivation, but, then again, I seem to value my sleep more than most. Anyway, the next opportunity is 2012, at the end of the Mayan calendar.

Afterwards, Russ and I headed to the MARC train to commute to DC. As we neared Union Station, he starts deconstructing our relationship again. I thought we had finished with that. I disagreed with nearly everything he said.

Today will probably be a rather long day for me, due to lack of sleep this morning. I also have dancing tonight, and I don't want to skip that -- our club caller is retiring next week, so I'm trying not to miss any floor time.

Whoops!

On the train home today, Russell told me why he was in such a mood this morning. While I was showering, he read a few journal entries that I had kept in a notebook as an experiment before starting this LiveJournal. There was some stuff about my HIV and such, but the entry that bummed him out was 'reasons for breaking up'.

We talked about it. I explained that yes, those reasons were issues to me. No, they weren't the sole reasons, or even the most important reason. Yes, I believe we could have worked through all of them, given time. They weren't deal breakers on their own. The most important reason was that I knew that he wasn't the one for me, and that I needed to break off that relationship to be free to look for someone I felt I could love.

Wondering what's in store

Once upon a time, I owned a Tarot deck. I was in high school at the time, around 1984-86. I was an active member of the BBS community in Jacksonville, Florida and I would often do readings for these friends who I had never even met. My Tarot book instructed me to pick out a significator (the card that represents the person making the inquiry) by assessing their physical type.

Since I couldn't really check out the people I was reading for, I decided that I would pick the card based on their age and their astrological sign. Each suit of the Tarot is associated with a particular element (fire, water, earth, air) and so is each sign.

I also was never skilled enough to master all the various meanings of the cards, so I cast the cards, then make notes on all of the meanings each card could represent. Then I would try to draw the thread out of the different meanings, finding the connection -- making up a story that fit the elements I was allowed to draw from.

This technique seemed to work well. Everybody I read for told me that the readings were very accurate and helpful.

I stopped doing readings during my last year of high school, in 1986. A girlfriend of mine wanted a reading, so I agreed to bring it to her the next day. Well, I forgot. So, I promised her I'd do it the following night. That evening, she called me at home before I had done anything. I apologized, and told her I'd complete it and call her back when I was done.

That reading included all kinds of disturbing trends. A move, but not a happy one. A child. A marriage, but not a happy one. I forget all of the details. I called her back, but she wasn't home. She wasn't at school the next day, and I never saw her again.

I found out later that she had run away from home that very night. She was pregnant. She ended up marrying the father, who abused her and raped her. The marriage ended in divorce. The last I knew, she was studying to be an x-ray technician and dearly loved her daughter. I hope it all worked out well for her.

I could never read for myself. I guess my wishful thinking got in the way. I wish I could get some insight into my future, although I know that everything's going to work out fine. It usually does.

My horoscope on my birthday, Dec 15, 2003: Happy Birthday: This is a year of change. You can fight what is coming your way or you can go with the flow. Turn each new challenge into something worthwhile. Don't fear the future -- embrace it. Your numbers are 2, 9, 15, 24, 33, 42