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A wonderful evening
Jan. 18th, 2005 11:02 amYesterday was pretty much a waste; I wrote in my journal and read in my bed. I prepared some lunch and took my pills.
Then I bundled myself up and took the train into DC to attend the heart circle in Silver Spring. I managed to cadge a ride from Steven S., making arrangements to meet him at Bob S.'s apartment, then made arrangements to meet Bob outside his office when he finished his work for the day to accompany him home.
Steven picked us up, then picked up another man, Michael, and we made it to the heart circle in good time. As often happens, I didn't have anything really weighing on my mind, but as the other men spoke, I realized that I needed to talk about how easy it is for me to escape the mundane chores in my life into a book or my computer. It seems I am a child who never learned to pick up his toys or do his homework.
This is at odds with my behavior when I'm visiting my friends, where I try to leave things the way I found them or better. It seems I need to take care of myself the way I want to take care of my friends.
I also expressed my gratitude to the circle and said my goodbye, explaining that I was committing to a square dance class that would tie up my Wednesday evenings for some time. After the circle was ended, Jerry mentioned that Wednesdays weren't set in stone, and I think he mentioned that other people also had conflicts.
Chris K. drove me to Doug M.'s house, who decided not to attend the heart circle because he needed some time to recover from the events of the weekend. I expected him to be in bed when we arrived, but he was up and washing dishes. Chris hung around for a brief visit, then made his exit. I sat in the kitchen with Doug while he continued working.
He and I spoke at great lengths about lots of things. We discussed my experience with Bob and related that to the Big Draw at Body Electric's CBE. He shared some of his experience with BDSM as well and other things I won't relate here.
We retired to bed, where we held each for a long, long time and talked some more.
All last evening, at the heart circle and talking with Doug, I had thoughts which clicked together into realizations, but this morning I can't remember them. These were journal-worthy, but it was impossible for me to write them down as they were happening. Sigh.
Then I bundled myself up and took the train into DC to attend the heart circle in Silver Spring. I managed to cadge a ride from Steven S., making arrangements to meet him at Bob S.'s apartment, then made arrangements to meet Bob outside his office when he finished his work for the day to accompany him home.
Steven picked us up, then picked up another man, Michael, and we made it to the heart circle in good time. As often happens, I didn't have anything really weighing on my mind, but as the other men spoke, I realized that I needed to talk about how easy it is for me to escape the mundane chores in my life into a book or my computer. It seems I am a child who never learned to pick up his toys or do his homework.
This is at odds with my behavior when I'm visiting my friends, where I try to leave things the way I found them or better. It seems I need to take care of myself the way I want to take care of my friends.
I also expressed my gratitude to the circle and said my goodbye, explaining that I was committing to a square dance class that would tie up my Wednesday evenings for some time. After the circle was ended, Jerry mentioned that Wednesdays weren't set in stone, and I think he mentioned that other people also had conflicts.
Chris K. drove me to Doug M.'s house, who decided not to attend the heart circle because he needed some time to recover from the events of the weekend. I expected him to be in bed when we arrived, but he was up and washing dishes. Chris hung around for a brief visit, then made his exit. I sat in the kitchen with Doug while he continued working.
He and I spoke at great lengths about lots of things. We discussed my experience with Bob and related that to the Big Draw at Body Electric's CBE. He shared some of his experience with BDSM as well and other things I won't relate here.
We retired to bed, where we held each for a long, long time and talked some more.
All last evening, at the heart circle and talking with Doug, I had thoughts which clicked together into realizations, but this morning I can't remember them. These were journal-worthy, but it was impossible for me to write them down as they were happening. Sigh.
