I'm fretting over my work

My heart is pounding.

I feel that things are beginning to come to a head. I know that my COBRA benefits will run out later this year. I've been working with Robyn for a year and I don't feel financially secure. I'm planning to apply for public assistance to get the medical support that I need, but the only thing holding me back from affording it on my own is my choice of employment — working for Robyn isn't working for me, and why should the taxpayers bail me out of that?

I think I'm very close to deciding to tell Robyn that I have to start looking for another job.

Or maybe I should just go ahead and suck up the benefits. Everybody seems to think that's a good idea. In fact, several guys at the HIV picnic discussed it with me, telling me that the funds are there for people like me, that if the funds aren't spent, then they go away.

But I feel that if someone is able to support themselves, then they have the obligation to do so. For instance, I don't believe in farm subsidies. A farm is a business, and if a business is failing, then it needs to adapt or fold. There aren't subsidies for failing grocery stores or hair salons.

And I am — to paraphrase the U.S. Army — "a business of one." My business is supporting myself and making the right choices to do that. Wishful thinking has no place here.

'Tis the season

I think this is the list of the folks I know who are participating in AIDS Walks and Runs this year. I'm going to try to donate $10 to each as their respective events creep up.

• gregmce
• todc
• mai_neh
• popicn
• xenohomo
• roosterbear

The Rhode Island AIDS Walk is on June 5, so I'm going to making those two donations this morning.

Well, that's that

I informed Robyn today of my decision to seek another job. He's disappointed, but entirely understanding. He told me that for the past six months he's considered every day I continued working for him to be a gift.

My first thought was to call the non-profit company where I worked for thirteen years to see if I might squeeze back in there. Their office is just fifteen blocks north of me in Baltimore and I enjoyed working there until the boss-from-hell came along. Boss-from-hell is gone, so I called up to say hi. It turns out that they're moving to Ellicott City at the end of the month, which is much less convenient. So much for that.

There's an opening advertised for a Junior Web Developer in downtown Baltimore. I'll be applying for that. Among other things, they're looking for someone with PHP, SQL and JavaScript skills who's also pretty good with HTML. I think I can talk myself into that job.

On a related note, I've been reading articles over the past few days lamenting the lack of good communication skills among recent college graduates. That's amazing to me, that someone could make it through college and not be able to write.

I've got communication skills — writing, speaking, presenting — despite never completing college. My favorite memory of a particular presentation was years ago when the non-profit was holding a workshop in Jacksonville, Florida. I was on site to provide the support services.

This was the year that we found funding to provide the participants with IBM ThinkPads, and we had a trainer to teach basic spreadsheet and database skills with the included office suite. Unfortunately, the trainer developed food poisoning, so another trainer tackled the spreadsheet module and I was volunteered to present the database module. A database module that I had never seen before. A presentation that I had to make in an hour.

So I sat in the corner with a laptop — a Windows laptop — and quickly acquainted myself with the software, devised a simple project to lead them through and outlined the presentation. The presentation went so well that the class actually applauded me when it was complete! :-)

Anyway, wish me luck on the job search!

I'm an uncle!

I just got the news that my sister-in-law has delivered a little boy named Ian Joseph. My mom just called to give me the news. They're going to the hospital now to visit.

Hm. A Gemini. From Wikipedia:

Gemini qualities include a quick mind, silver-tongued eloquence, facility using the hands, and an ability to see many facets of a given issue. Negatively, Gemini can be very duplistic, dishonest, nervous, and anxious.

Well, we'll make sure the little bugger grows up right. :-)

Don't Look Ethel!

( Pictures of my rash — not work safe and TMI )